First Lutheran Church Plainville, Kansas
Peace Lutheran Church Natoma, Kansas
If marriage is only about love, than the question of who is getting married does not matter and no one can tell you otherwise. If marriage is only about love, than marriage can be between any consenting adults, male or female combinations; or marriage can be between any adult and a child or an animal or any other object, because after all, it is all about love.
That is what makes the marriage debate right now so difficult for people – we have made the definition of marriage into love and nothing else. And who are you, or anyone else to say who one can or cannot love? But while a marriage should definitely have love, if love is the only basis for the marriage, then there is no argument against any marriage regardless of age or gender or molecular makeup.
The problem is that we often associate love with passion, with being happy, with things that are not necessarily bound to the one man-one woman definition of marriage. A person can love a sports team; a person can have a passion for cooking or for gardening; a person can be happy with a group of friends.
So when we say marriage is all about love, there is a confusion, because love can be directed at any number of things, not all of which are limited to a one man-one woman union, and not all of which are wrong. But if all you need is love, than you can marry anyone or anything, because who is to question your love.
I am not arguing that people who hate each other should marry, nor am I saying that a one man-one woman marriage is loveless. Indeed, love for one another should be deeply considered before entering into marriage. But what separates marriage as defined in the Bible from what the Supreme Court determined marriage to be, from what society determines marriage to be; is not love.
Marriage as defined in the Bible has a fruit that comes forth from it, and it is not roses and candy every Valentine’s Day. Marriage as defined in the Bible is marked by family, particularly children. (see Genesis 1:28; Psalm 127:3; Ephesians 6:1-3)
That is the definition of marriage that limits it to one man and one woman, because by God’s perfect design, only the coming together of a man and a woman is able to produce family. Children are a fruit of love in marriage, no other marriage combination is able to produce naturally born children. God has blessed the one man-one woman marriage with the responsibility of creating and caring for children.
We lose sight of that argument, that reasoning for marriage in our modern day society because we have placed so little value on children, turning them from a fruit into a science experiment. Through abortion and other methods, children can be prevented from ever entering the family. Through modern science, children can enter into unions that otherwise never could naturally bear a child.
Not every man-woman marriage will produce children, but by God’s design every man-woman marriage has the necessary ingredients for naturally producing children. No other marriage combination can say that. And so no other marriage combination is a valid one.
Again, this will not be an easy argument to make to others, especially in our modern day culture. We live in a self-centered society, where anyone who questions the happiness of another is immediately labeled hateful, and is ignored. But the Bible and biology are clear: the answer to who can marry is not love, the answer is found in which union is able to produce family. For family is the natural fruit of marriage.
God Bless! Pastor Schmidt