Today marks less than 10 days until Lindsey and I will be married. Needless to say, we are both tired of waiting and we want to be married already; and we reflect, sometimes in jest, other times in seriousness, on whether or not eloping would have been better.
Alas, the old axiom is true – waiting is the hardest part.
But what are we waiting for?
The answer that most people assume in our modern culture, (if they can understand the concept of abstinence), is that we are waiting to have sex. As believers who try to keep the Ten Commandments, in this case the 6th one in particular, there is a barrier that exists for all those who are not married. Sex is reserved for marriage, and only for marriage. On June 25th, the barrier comes down as we will be married.
Now while we, like all couples, are looking forward to this particular aspect of marriage, there is another area of marriage that we are equally, if not more so, looking forward to – community.
That is the often forgotten blessing of marriage, that it was not good for Adam to be alone, so God created Eve to be a helpmate for Adam. Adam needed community, Adam needed someone to talk to, someone to dream with, someone to build a future with, someone to grieve with, someone to fellowship with. The animals were all presented to him, and none was found suitable, and so there was a need for Eve.
It is after all, community that draws people into marriage. Men and women find the company of one another pleasing and enjoyable, so much so that they desire to be together far more than just occasionally, but all the time. Lindsey and I have found this to be true; we enjoy the company and presence of each other; we desire to be in the presence of each other for more than a weekend or an occasional week here and there. We want to be together as much as possible, and so there is marriage.
Once in community, did Adam and Eve just talk to each other about work, or did they also come together as only husband and wife should? They must have because they had children. But not every encounter results in children, and the Lord has chosen in His wisdom not to bless every couple with children. But every couple has community, every couple comes together for the purpose of sharing their lives together.
Are we looking forward to marriage? We sure are; and we look forward to all that comes with marriage; and are prepared to face the ups and the downs together for however long the Lord has chosen to knit us together (til death do us part). But the key factor in every point listed, even the key to having sex, is that it takes 2 to tango. It takes two to form a community; it takes two to make a marriage.
Up until now, the words of the Lord God in Genesis 2 have been steel and stone to my ears; as I sit here in the final 10 days before entering into a lifelong marriage with Lindsey, I know hear the words that it is not good for man to be alone as they are spoken to me.
Michael, it is not good for you to be alone anymore. Here is Lindsey, so that the two of you may have community. Whether or not that community grows beyond two will be determined later, but for now, there will be a community of two; two who are not alone any longer.